http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/46

Although the photo is indicated to merely consist of the participants, some friends, holding a coconut and posing like the Breakfast Club, viewing the photo like that would be seeing it as you want to see it: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. The picture is the chronicle of an incredible journey of self-discovery, transcending the boundaries of social hierarchy and preconceived notions. The subjects in the picture have spent the few hours prior to the photo dodging authority, forging new friendships, and growing as people. They obtained an illicit coconut that served as the symbolic vessel for all their innate potential, their desires for the future, and the expectations the adult world had placed upon them. The picture captures a ragtag bunch of misfits at the very prime of youth, on the edge of unknown adulthood, the precarious days of exploration, bravado, and confusion. In the end, despite their differences, they found out that each of them was a sorority girl, a computer engineer, a short person, a juice lover, a bus driver, and an awkward director of photoshoots. Does that answer your question as to what this item is really about?

http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/55

This item might seem like an artistically altered image of Alexander McQueen on the front of a book, but the image is actually a photograph of the world’s first cyborg, a Mr. Paisley Donovan, so named because he was in fact a clone of the late Alexander McQueen developed in the late 2170s from preserved genetic material and the scientist involved was keenly aware of Mr. McQueen’s tempestuous relationship with the paisley pattern and wished to make an ironic statement. Mr. Donovan was in a car accident in his early thirties that resulted in injuries so severe that he became a second major medical technology breakthrough: a living cyborg. Numerous surgeries resulted in facial reconstruction, neural repair, cardiothoracic reconstruction, and gastrointestinal augmentations of cybernetic nature. Mr. Donovan was offered more natural-looking facial prosthetics but rejected them in favor of the more radical metallic look in honor of the aesthetic sensibilities of his genetic “father.”

Item #48: “Rafting in Costa Rica”

Interestingly enough, when the movie, The Rise of the Planet of the Apes, was originally pitched, it was set to take place in China, where (the case was made that) it would be more plausible for the government to turn a blind eye to ethical concerns of medical experimentation on animals, and specifically, genetic manipulation. This picture takes place in a jungle region in Puerto Rico, where Megan and the film crew were attempting to find cheaper locations to shoot certain scenes, as opposed to shipping the entire operation to inland china. The photographer of the picture was actually the trained chimp who had to accompany and become accustomed to the film crew, but could could not bear to cross the water, instead following the rafts along the shore. Other photos in the collection include priceless self taken images of the chimps toenails, various birds, colorful plants, and a large number of shots of the chimps eye. whether this was intentional or simply took place before the understanding of how the camera functions is still up for debate. In any event, the producers quickly realized that leaving Hollywood and using actual chimps to produce a movie was entirely too 1990s, and instead scrapped the idea, filming the entire movie using green-screens and phoned in voice-overs over the course of approximately a month.

Item #66: “1000th point club”

Though she doesn’t like to brag, Tyreese is actually a wizard (or witch really, though female wizard is technically the politically correct term). Honestly, it is surprising that such a notable wizarding academy allowed such a blatant violation of their code of secrecy to leave the premises. I suppose this could be permitted given that it is posted under the guise of a mere basketball score list. In any event, the image represents Tyreese’s inductance into the Lady Wizards (the political correctness does become tiresome after a while) 1000 point club, which recognizes specifically women who score cumulatively above 1000 points on their 11 final examinations. The exams progress in order: Minor Prestidigitation, Abjuration, Alchemy, Conjuration, Divination, Enchantment, Evocation, Illusion, Necromancy (don’t worry, just the basics; ressurecting frogs and the like), Transmutation, and Dueling. The wall in the background is the back wall of the dueling chambers where the senior class undergo their final trials. Though Tyreese unfortunately bombed her alchemy practical (and I do quite literally mean ‘bombed’), she more than made up for it with the highest score in the dueling segment since her brother took his finals several years earlier.

http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/45

Mr. Evans’ image here can be very misleading due to the subtle details that may go unnoticed. First of all, he claims that the photo is “silly”. Really, Mr. Evans, silly?

That claim is blasphemous. Yes,

Blasphemous.

The mannerisms of the people depicted in the picture appear to be far from “silly”. In fact, one could even suggest that the tone of the photo is of a more serious level. The gentleman on the left and in the back has an intense expression on his face. One that highlights and conveys the true gravity of the scene. The female on the far right, returns the gaze, with even more ferocity than her male counterpart.

Furthermore, the photo conveys a more coordinated effort than Mr. Evans lets on. All of the members in the photo are wearing an article of upper body clothing that is predominantly white; this contrasts with and highlights the dark head wear that most of the participants are wearing, or the colorful nature of the caps worn by the young woman and gentleman in the middle. This foiling of colors calls our attention towards the head, and subsequently the faces of the family members.

Silly? Pish-Posh

http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/44

Challenged Accepted.

Here, Mr. Evans makes yet another outrageous claim. He maintains that “there are no words that can describe this picture”.

I beg to differ.

I, on the contrary, cannot think of enough words to describe this picture with. It depicts a BEAR (not a gopher, like Mr.Evans so ludicrously claims), riding a longboard and achieving a high velocity as it snakes down a large, mountainous incline.

First of all, I can think of several adjectives that encapsulate this image:

• Marvelous –  The image shows a bear riding a skateboard. If there was ever an image that caused one to look on in amazement, this is it. How often does one have the privilege of seeing a bear on a skateboard? About as often as Tony Romo wins the Superbowl, which never has happened (or ever will, for that matter).
• Spectacular – Try to fathom the speed that the bear is traveling at. How much skill and precision it must take for the beast to maintain his course. The picture is truly a sight to behold.
• Majestic – Look at the bear’s hair, how it glistens in the mid-day sun. Observe how his friend follows close behind, it even appears that he is smiling. I…I might need a moment. This is just so beautiful.

I could go on, there are so many elements about this picture that convey much more than Mr. Evans lets on.

I am going to argue that Megan’s item, ”Rafting in Costa Rica,” (http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/48)  is not simply about her rafting trip. Megan credits the rafting tour photographer as the creator of the photo, and therefore I see this image as a story about him or her. It is an image of what we can assume to be the daily life of a rafting tour photographer. This is what he or she does. The photo documents the environment in which the photographer works daily. He or she chose to work in Costa Rica and be a part of a rafting company that gives tours to visitors. One this particular day, the weather seems to be cooperative and the water not too rapid nor unruly — but this is just one day in the life of the photographer. He or she has to respond to the conditions of the river and the Costa Rica environment constantly.  Megan and her family are some of the many that this person photographs on a regular basis. The image captures an example of what he or she thinks is a good photo of a group of people rafting in Costa Rica. It reflects the photographer’s person choice of angle and background. The photographer’s story is told through this image.

The second item whose narrative I want to counter is Ed’s item called “Campaigning.” http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/49  He describes it as a photo of him “helping out on a parade during the Prince George’s County elections.” But what the item really is the shirt Ed is wearing in the photo. It is a bold purple t-shirt with white writing spelling out “Clark for Clerk.”  This shirt tells a whole diiferent story than the one of Ed campaigning. Someone, most likely Clark, a supporter of Clark or a member of Clark’s campaign committee, must have come up with the slogan. Next someone would have had to think to imprint it onto a t-shirt. Then, someone would have had to think of the color. Purple must have some significance in this politician’s campaign. These three element would have to come together in order to create the t-shirt. The last step is Ed and his comrades who decided to receive and wear the shirts. Are they serving their purpose? There was a lot of thought put into the planning of the shirt, and it may have lead to Clark’s election or loss of election. This photo is not simply evidence of Ed’s political endeavors; it is a story about a little purple shirt.

The photograph “In Front of the Brooklyn Bridge South Street Seaport” and it’s caption in Kat Averell’s archive may lead one to believe that she is merely having a good time with her best friends on the Brooklyn Bridge. This photo may look like a Kodak moment, a memory the three pals wanted to capture as a keepsake for the rest of their lives, but it is actually a clever ploy by main suspect Katharine Averell. This photo was taken so Katharine could use it as an alibi for the crime she committed previously. Earlier in the day, the Best Western Seaport Inn hotel was robbed at gunpoint. The suspect is said to have fled on foot, and was last seen entering the crowds moving towards the Brooklyn Bridge. Katharine is dressed in all black, in an attempt to camouflage with the rest of the crowd. She is wearing what appears to be a green scarf, but it is clearly the facemask she wore while robbing the front desk. It is highly probable that in her attempt to escape, she imposed herself in a photo with two strangers to cover up her true intentions that day. The two “best friends” next to her are implementing the classic hands on the hip pose, something they had been planning for some time, while Katharine is stuck awkwardly in between the two, her actions too swift for the two unassuming friends to react to. Katharine’s hands are also completely hidden behind the two people next to her, hiding the physical evidence. Katharine uses a sweet smile to cover up her true, malicious intentions. However, the investigators are well versed in their fields and made sure not to overlook this cunning suspect.

Megan Beveridge recently posted a flyer from the Florence and the Machine concert in her archive. The presentation of this photo and its caption seem to claim that she went to the concert in September. This is, however, far from the truth. If she did, in fact, attend the concert why did she post a flyer and not an actual photo or video of Florence Welch herself? This is simply a photocopied flyer showing no evidence that she was at Merriweather Post Pavilion. Her roommate, Margaret Gratian, did attend the concert that day. Megan, in her desire to have experienced the concert herself must have taken the flyer that Margaret brought home and photocopied it. As you can see upon further inspection, the scanned flyer has splotches near the top which shows that this is not an original print. Megan has always idolized Florence since she made her debut, and having the flyer as a keepsake is the closest thing she could find to experiencing the actual concert.

“Friendship Bracelet”

http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/35

From observing this bracelet it is clear that Monica is actually a spy for the Central Intelligence Agency. The old and ratty looking bracelet is just a disguise for a very advanced tracking device. Much like a young James Bond, Monica accepts dangerous missions from the C.I.A. risking her life for the sake of Justice. The danger of the missions is evident in the wear and tear on the bracelet. Upon closer inspection we can see, hidden in the knot on the string, a tracking device. The microchip electronics hidden inside the string help Monica’s C.I.A. handler monitor her heart rate and GPS coordinates. With this technology, they can determine if Monica is injured and her location. Monica claims the bracelet was a present from an old friend which I confidently deem untrue. As we can see in the picture, the bracelet is discolored at some sections and emits a dark halo. These are classic qualities of Type-C Norium, a substance created and used only by the C.I.A.. I would know this because I once was invited to work as a spy for this agency. This bracelet is a great display of modern technology and I hope Monica will post more “innocent looking” items to her archive.

“Tyreese: A New branch of my life!”

http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/41

This picture may look like a perfectly innocent moment but the truth lies behind the three smiling people. I would like to argue that the basis of this photo is not joy of the arrival of a niece, but in fact an attempt to cover up a terrible accident. With an analytical eye one can clearly discover that the smiles on each face are fake and that all three subjects in the photo are conveniently hovered over the baby to hide the area behind them. The first supporting point of my theory is the red substance that is peeking out from under the man’s chest. This red substance must be blood which is clearly coming from the man. As a face reader, I can tell that behind the man’s smile is pain and anguish. He has clearly been injured. How he got injured is the main focus of the elaborate cover-up. Tyreese and the two other people in the photograph broke their Mom’s favorite antique desk. During the disastrous break the man was injured which explains the blood. As soon as Mom’s footsteps were heard, Tyreese and her partners in crime grabbed the baby and used her as a distraction. Mystery solved!

Analysis of Item #96: “Friends in a Dorm Room”

http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/96

While this may look like a picture of Kat Averell and her friends, it is a truly remarkable work of deception. You see Kat on the left, obviously very content and pleased with herself, but when you look closer at the faces of the other girls to the right, you may see something is quite amiss. First, you may notice that her “friend” Angela is leaning a bit too far to her left, away from Kat. They are all, in fact, a little uncomfortable having her in the picture. Why, you may ask, are they so unhappy about taking a picture with their so-called friend? What you don’t know is that Kat Averell is a shifty little schemer. Behind those poor girls’ backs she holds a spray bottle of paint, ready to sabotage any girl if she dare leave the picture. She was so terrified of having nothing to put in her archive that she forced her “friends” to take pictures with her as she held them at paint-point. The smug smile upon her face and the uneasy, forced smiles of the rest of the girls say it all: this was not an act of camaraderie, but an act of desperation.

Analysis of Item #55 “Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty”

http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/55

This book is a fake. Look at the brown paper covering the book. It’s a grocery bag folded and taped over a high school science textbook. She carefully creased the paper at the binding so that it resembles a real book, but the quality of the paper used is much lower than what covers the true Alexander McQueen book. The picture from the front of the book is easily found throughout the internet, such as on this site http://backseatstylers.com/fashionshows/alexander-mcqueen-savage-beauty-exhibition-at-the-met-another-preview/ and many others you can find just by Googling the title. She obviously printed the image out and glued it to the front of the paper cover. Angela obviously did not use the high quality setting on her printer because the image is grainy and fuzzy, unlike the crisp image displayed on the real book’s cover. You can clearly see the uneven edges where she cut the white edges off the paper with sloppy snips on the front and right edges. The right bottom corner is also peeling off the cover despite the measures she took to ensure that they stayed intact. Although this easily fools the observer when seen via digital photograph, anyone able to see the actual book or hold it would quickly discover that it is a fraud.

Greg’s “Angel:” http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/103

I’m not sure how a dog that large can be labeled either a puppy or an angel. To begin with,  angels should possess both divine attributes and the ability to fly. I find it exceedingly unlikely that this god can provide irrefutable proof of the existence of god and angelic beings, leading me to conclude that the title of this picture is misleading at best, and sacrilegious at worst. The odds of this dog taking flight strikes me as implausible, especially given its lack of wings or mechanical apparatus with which it might be aided. Thus, the angelic nature of this dog, as described by the title, cannot possibly be true in any literal sense of the word.

The only other description Greg provides, is that this dog is his “puppy.” I am neither a vet nor a biological anthropologist, but I have never seen a puppy of that physical magnitude before. If this animal is neither of the things Greg has described it to be, I must conclude that the love and joy it allegedly brings him is equally fabricated. I am happy that Greg sees himself as happy, but do not think that this dog, if it exists at all, belongs to him. The qualities he ascribes to it are simply too inconsistant with the evidence he provides.

The Fallacy of Beena’s “Front Pages:” http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/88

The faux innocence which emanates from Beena’s “favorite” “front pages” is enough to send even the most docile of political observers into hysterics. It does not take a genius, or even the most primitive of laypeople, to see Beena’s cunning, despicable plan for global domination at the forefront of one of her supposed “great publications.”

The juxtaposition of the “Pursuit of Happiness,” and the “End of the World,” is most telling. The fact that these count themselves among Beena’s proudest moments reveals an insidious intentionality about her desires. Only a tyrant, thirsty for power and domination on a global scale could derive joy from such sights. The conquest aspect of Beena’s plan is illustrated by her joy at the end of the world, as well as the medium, journalism  through which her schemes are expressed. Beena hopes one day to be employed the media, the primary propaganda tool of the impending New World Order. She alone will benefit and reap joy from earth’s destruction, as her people will carry it out to suit their needs. The fact that this was created while she was a mere high schooler, and the fact that she cites design as her greatest challenge, only underscores the threat Beena poses to free society.

“Goddaughter” by Kelsey Hughes

While seemingly a photo of an baby in a Maryland onesie, this picture is much more. It is the press photo of the baby, Audrey – the youngest member of the University of Maryland’s football team. Randy Edsall and his scouters have been trying to recruit her for months and were just able to clinch her for the 2012 season. Oh, other large football universities tried to snag her – Ohio State, Illinois, North Carolina, UMiami – but she picked the Terrapins because Testudo gave her a warm and welcoming hug at last year’s Maryland Madness event that topped hospitality at any other university. Her gray-blue eyes are determined even as she delicately posed for her photo in August – she knows the Terps are counting on her this year.

Even as she poses, she’s batting at the camera. It’s an effective mechanism for the new Terps linebacker as she sits in the Pennsylvania grass. It defines the one thing the Terps know about Audrey: she is always practicing. The white headband is a sweat protector that matches her uniform (Audrey rolls in style, people) and keeps her always ready for any pigskin that may come her way. Danny O’Brien may be gone, but ladies and gentlemen, Audrey is in the house.

“Text from my Dad” by Benjy Cannon

A text received at 9:37 p.m. on Oct. 10 by Benjy from his father instead had nothing to do with protesting issues in the Jewish community and being the progressive face of his student organization JStreetU. Oh, no. Indeed, Benjy’s protests were cruel and unbased.

An advertisement on the DC Metro (typically on the Green Line, but oftentimes on the Red Line as well) depicts former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney in a black suit, hands in his pockets, smiling nonchalantly toward the camera. Behind him are the several hundreds of issues for which he has taken a stance on a white background – everything from abortion to same-sex marriage to the economy. It’s common knowledge that Romney is anything but a flip-flopper and has a long list of his clear-cut conservative stances on every issue. It is not an inflammatory ad, merely an ad detailing the governor’s esteeming qualities in a bullet-point by bullet-point listing. The Washington Post ran an article about Metro’s good work in putting up these ads throughout its heavily populated lines. Voters are busy people, it reported, and often commuters, many of whom don’t have hours to devote to reading the issues at home or watching debates. For many of them, the Metro is the only time they can catch their breath.

But alas. Notice the “FORWARD” wallpaper on Benjy’s iPhone. Clearly, he supports the president in the upcoming election. And in his devotion for Barack H. Obama, Benjy has dubbed these simply informative advertisements as “blasphemous pieces of literature” and “abhorrent propaganda.” He demands they be torn down and replaced with photos of the president with a halo around his head. Judging by Romney’s heavy lead in critical swing states such as Ohio (in the most recent poll by CNN, Romney was at 89% and Obama at 11%), it’s no wonder Benjy is worried for the future of the incumbency.

1. My video from theater rehearsal in my junior year of high school: http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/23

2. Pages of my high school newspaper: http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/88

3. Interviewing Seth Meyers! http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/89

4. My sister and me: http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/90

5. The Beatles: http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/91