Counternarrative to Evolution of the Controller

http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/37

Look at all those video game remote-things!
Obviously, Emil is some kind of mad, game-playing fanatic. But, you would say, he can’t hold all the controllers at once, maybe there are other people who play with him. Ahh, i reply, he can’t hold them all in the form in which we see him in class. But have you ever seen Emil at home? I haven’t.
Form the evidence of these multiple game controllers, we must assume that Emil sprouts eleven extra pairs of hands. Well, maybe only 10 and 1/2, it looks like you only need one hand for that first one.
Why, you ask, why does Emil sprout 10 and 1/5 extra pairs of hands (that’s 21 hands by the way, plus the two he already has)? Or, perhaps if you’re more interested in the technical side, how? The first I cannot answer, maybe you can look at his other objects and find out. The second, however, I have some idea about. I order to use all those appendages to help him with his video games (ah, you realize, that show he gets such good scores), they must all face the front. That’s as best as I can do from the evidence. Maybe you should ask him.
Finally, how does he get all the remotes to play with his many, many hands? Why are they so different? Well, obviously he can;t just walk into a game store and ask for twelve remotes. Besides, think of how much that would cost. My theory is this, he scouts around at garage sales, second-hand stores, and other places where people are prone to get rid of the things which they don’t want anymore. He picks up remotes where he can find them. That’s why some are so old.
I conclude with this, don’t ever challenge Emil to a gaming competition, you never know what he has up his sleeves.

One thought on “Counternarrative to Evolution of the Controller

  1. Very clever Miranda, very clever. Your hypothesis is very imaginative. I could not possibly have twenty-one hands (plus the two I was already born with). If I were to play every single one of the games at the same time, I would need twelve different gaming systems. To accommodate those twelve different gaming systems, I would need to have twelve different televisions. I may have quite a big dorm room, but there is no way I could fit twelve different television sets in my room AND have room to sleep. Even if I could manage to accommodate twelve different television sets in my room, the university would definitely send me a notice of all of the electricity I am using. With all that electrical current flowing through my room, that would certainly serve as a fire hazard.
    If I were to have twelve different television images, I would need to have twelve different sets of eyes. You could stare at my forehead all you want to, but I guarantee that you will not find more than one pair of eyes on my head.
    Since there is no point in hiding my secret any longer, I might as well tell you. The truth is, I have blazing fast reflexes. Milliseconds to others seem like regular seconds to me. But don’t worry, I’ll still give you a high 5, err, high 21.

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