I read, if that’s the right way to describe it, “weird tape in the mail.” To be honest, my first reaction was annoyance at the punctuation anomalies (“uncles” when “uncle’s” was meant; “it;s” when “it’s” was meant). My second reaction was that the art was repellant, especially the first appearance of the uncle. It reminded me a bit of George Grosz. The repellant art is, I think, a positive feature of the story-telling experience, as it fits the tone of the story quite well. On a broader level, I found the story at least somewhat engaging, although I agree that the attack on utopian consumerism was a little heavy-handed. I’m witholding judgement until next week, though, because I suspect it’s harder to write in this mode than it looks, and subtlety may be one of the things that goes by the wayside in a shorter piece.
There seems to be a strong affinity between this kind of writing and gaming, and in that regard I may be somewhat at a disadvantage, since I have no experience in that realm. (I really felt that strongly with my very short-lived attempt to interact with SHADE). I’m looking forward to the Twine assignment, since my sense is that this may be one of those things where there’s just no substitute for learning by doing.