My story, “Driveway,” is a narrative as told from the perspective of a woman who is going to present her husband with the papers for divorce. I think my story could be greatly improved by becoming e-lit, because it would help develop characters, continue plot, and provide perspective for both main characters without detracting from the main story.
I think the main way my story could be improved is by changing the story slightly so that it solely focuses on the perspective of the woman. As Jim pointed out, the narrative could be strengthened if the it was told solely from the perspective of wife, Sarah. But I think gaining the husband, Sam’s perspective would add dimension to the story. So I would link to Sam’s perspective during the chronology of events, probably when he’s first referenced in the second paragraph.
Sarah also references several events that led her to the confusion. I would link in the story to memories of those events (their daughter’s wedding, their failed counseling sessions, the incredibly hot summer that left the lawn brown, the reason Sarah always has to jiggle the door handle) to once again add dimension to the story. This idea is modeled after “These Waves Of Girls,” which effectively pulls together a collection of memories to tell a story. I think telling my story in this fashion would tell a tale about the build-up and failure of a marriage, rather than just its breaking point.
I think the story would also be benefitted by the addition of videos and music, which would build up emotion. If the story were to begin with a short video of Sarah, stalling at work, gathering the papers, turning into her driveway, it would both ease the readers into the plot and help give insight to Sarah as a character. Something similar could be done for Sam’s perspective, seeing Sarah pull into the driveway, watching her through the window and knowing what’s going to happen.
The final tweak that I think would be interesting would be to add a link to a second ending in which Sarah doesn’t leave. This link would be on the words “if she should reconsider.” This would open up a version of the story, identical from the beginning until the point where Sarah decides not to file for divorce after all. It would even have the same link to Sam’s perspective in it, except Sam’s perspective would be altered to fit the new ending as well. It would likely be confusing, but I think that the confusion is nothing if not symbolic of the inconsistencies of (a rocky) marriage.
With luck, all of these methods of turning “Driveway” into an e-lit would greatly improve my short story without detracting from the focus.