Counternarrative to “Jumping!”
http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/64
Hah! Last time they all got together before college/marriage, indeed! Anyone can plainly see that these people are much too young to be going to college and/or getting married! They’re still acting like kids, for goodness sake! I mean, just look at them attacking each other like that! They’re not jumping into the lake because they feel like it; the two girls in the red were chasing the girl in the white shorts and they plummeted off a dock, hardly closest cousin behavior. And there is absolutely no way they could have jumped off a boat like that; they’re too high to have jumped off a low boat, and everyone knows taller boats have all these safety rails and such, not to mention you can’t bring a boat that tall into a tiny lake! The date is clearly a lie, too. September 10? It would be far too cold to go swimming in a lake in just spaghetti strap shirts and short shorts. No, for whatever nefarious reason she has, Sara has clearly lied about this photograph. You simply can not take her at her word that this was a friendly family outing on a large boat on September 10, and that these children have all graduated high school.
Counternarrative to “Baltimore City Hall Internship”
http://mith.umd.edu/arguing/admin/items/show/82
Obviously a fake ID! There is no hologram or watermark on it. Even a child could tell you makers of real identification cards always put on those shiny stamps to prevent counterfeiting. For example, University of Maryland ID cards have a circular hologram with the words “University of Maryland” and the numbers “18″ and “56″ on the left and the right, marking the year that the Maryland General Assembly chartered the Maryland Agricultural College. So areal City of Baltimore identification badge would also have a hologram of some logo, perhaps the same one that you can see in the upper right hand corner of this fake card.
Another piece of proof that this card is a fake: the address listed on the card is 100 North Holliday Street, but if you check Google Maps and go to the street view, it brings you to 157 Guilford Avenue. 100 North Holliday Street does not exist! Jason made it up, and fabricated this story in order to fool his parents into thinking he was working this summer, when in actuality, he was scheming to rob a bank. He got an ID printer from some of his fellow conspirators and used it to create this piece and others for carrying out his infamous deed.
On the contrary! This identification badge is quite real, hastily printed out from the city personnel office press located across the street from the Baltimore City Hall. You have discovered my ruse, however. This badge is NOT a simple City Hall identification badge, but rather, my means of access to the crabcake vault located deep beneath the government building. The address 100 North Holliday street is very real, but as those who are well-versed in Baltimore history know that City Hall USED to be located at that address before it sank in the great quicksand disaster of 1830. A new City Hall was rebuilt directly on top of the old building, the street renamed Guilford, after the brave mayor who died in the 1830 disaster, desperately making phone calls as he went down with his proverbial ship. The old City Hall was repurposed into a crabcake vault, which stores the entire Baltimore inventory of crabcake recipes and seasoning, a secret which has been hidden since the city’s inception, only to be revealed by Caitlin’s investigative wit.
In response to Jumping counter-narrative:
Catalan’s accusations are preposterous! I would never tell a lie, especially about such an innocent event. Some people even compare me to the great Honest Abe. This cousin’s getaway was a relaxing, peaceful, and non-violent trip. We were not chasing each other off a dock but jumping off the boat as bonding moments. Who says that adults cannot act like children? I admit we were not acting completely responsible, but when cousins get together this happens. Caitlin also assumed that we were jumping off of a small boat into a small lake when this is simply untrue. Deep Creek Lake is actually quite large and reaches great depth towards the middle. One of my older cousins, who actually makes money, rented a tall boat which did have railings. This did not prevent us from jumping because we just climbed over them! September of 2010 was actually a warm month. During the day and high noon the sun kept us warm. I believe I even got a bit of a tan that weekend. This is no longer the 90′s; I’m sure global warming has started to take and effect on the world’s climate. Hence, heat in September.
“Catalan”?