The glass wall

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Wall.
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Each of us has undeveloped capacities for effective
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living out of the mental and emotional
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forces at work within us the minds of men
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everywhere.
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It is that we
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work in these programs
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every day in the lives of.
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Magazines do you want to be there in the hall Chris with the others.
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Well run him around the corner into the living room. But not too far. We've got to
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wax this floor. Now I know it's
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got to be done looking at it. I don't see anything wrong with it.
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Scratch using things where the baby spill not to mention skid marks from your
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sneakers and a few reminders that spooky lives here.
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Well gosh mommy can't blame spooky just a dog.
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He's a very special dog and we love him but he's not the best thing in the world for followers.
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Go for that. Hey what color did you Great Caesar's ghost what happened if they were
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clean out his closet funnyman.
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We're just trying to dig out some of the clutter before Jennifer gets here. Where I stand it looks
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like quite an assignment I know. Isn't it awful. It just goes all in and all.
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I feel like somebody who tried to break off a string and unraveled the whole thing.
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But Jennifer's house is such streamlined perfection. What's wrong with that house.
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Nothing Chris. Not a thing. It just looks lived in.
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That's what I think most of the time. But looking at it like Jennifer will
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it's just plain messy. Gosh who is this lady a
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queen or something. She's a very old friend of mine Chris. We work together before we
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were married and I don't suppose you've ever met anybody quite like her. She's
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married and has a family and she lectures and writes articles for newspapers and
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magazines and she's president of this I'm chairman of that and everything she
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does she does beautifully. She sounds terrible. GRIMM Well
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she's not. She's terrific. You see it's very important to me to
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have things right for us.
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Oh ok skipper where you're man aren't we fell a sure thing.
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If only MS nettles hadn't got sick just when we only it's Mrs. nettles with six willing
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sex willing. That reminds me. Were you scared.
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She was helping with the magazines dish she ran across an article on how to be
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popular. Now she just sittin up there read man.
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Well you tell her she'll be mighty popular around here if she'll come get these curtains down.
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I've got to go see if the slip covers are dry and then I'll start supper and I've got to get that paid for the yard Gerry's
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before the Fix-It Shop closes. We never did.
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Why do I think we don't have time to get fancy just make them white. Why did it all window.
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And why don't you and Chris know what all those magazines into the station wagon so they can go to the
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hospital tomorrow. We were taken by on the way to the train. That's where the whole floor for
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waxing to night and I'll get Kathy to run across to Marty's and get the baby before she starts on the
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curtains. Then he can ride with you when you go for the pate and Kristen.
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Radio-TV the University of Texas presents the minds of men
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a series of explorations into effective living. Written by the Durham
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plans and directed by R. C. Norris. These programs are prepared
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with the assistance and counsel of the Hogg foundation for Mental Hygiene. And
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produce done the rest special grant from the Educational Television and Radio Center in
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cooperation with the National Association of educational broadcasting.
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Their aim. A keener understanding of the forces universally at work and
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the minds of men.
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In our efforts to achieve stable and harmonious ways of living with
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ourselves and other people we are often inclined to view our
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emotions as troublesome and disquieting processions indeed.
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We are quick to see within us and around us the dilemmas wrought by feelings
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attitudes and convictions that got out of hand or out of bounds.
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Dismayed by emotion display stock poorly utilized. We may
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fail to realize that abundant living owes its vitality
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to these very needs feelings and values adequately
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expressed and properly channeled fearing that we pay far too
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much feeling with too much pain that deep involvement
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demands too high a price. We may retreat cravenly from life's
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direct path. We may be between our So and the
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world a protective wall behind which we cringe and sterile
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security save a life from life's has
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and it's.
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Coming.
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Yes indeed I do wish you'd sit up here in front with quite cozy back here
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with my parrot.
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I just can't believe you're here. It's too good to be true. Worked out perfect
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of course because I could come straight here from the Children's Hospital dedication have this
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time with you make my speech to the city for the welfare meeting
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having to double back home. Isn't she amazing.
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How do you do it. Children's Hospital speeches to your
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friends organizations and to the woman always had
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somebody under wing I'm sure she still does
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but not on a national global scale. Just PTA and hospital
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volunteers right here at home and padding about fifty leagues. It's a bit strange
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but someone has to do these things. There's such a widespread need such a
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challenge and it must be wonderful to know you're doing so much good. I imagine it's very
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fulfilling very sad.
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Oh yes. How was your trip from Kansas City. Not too pleasant kind of
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care much for train don't you. I love them. They're so clubby. That's just it you see I'm
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not very keen about getting involve with people I never saw before and won't see again.
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My gregarious wife would never understand. She would if she'd been in my place today a woman across the
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aisle traveling with five small children. I don't suppose any one of them could have been over
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seven. Oh dear. Exactly. I don't know why anybody would undertake
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such a thing. The baby was sick. I suppose it was a cry constantly and the rest
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were all over everywhere whining and climbing and smearing cookies. The
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mother was such a dreary and effectual little creature I didn't anybody lend a hand.
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I really don't know I fled to the diner. There wasn't a club car. Happily they got
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off someplace but that's what I mean about trains. I see your point.
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Charming town Maggie really delight. Do you think so. We feel it's pretty but
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we're prejudices treaties nobody prepared me for the trees they're magnificent.
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Well I thought maybe tomorrow we could take a drive around electricity. Let's make
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it this evening I've got to work on my speech tomorrow I didn't get a thing done on the train as you
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can imagine. Let's drive around for a bit. It'll be enormously
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restoring for all of us to look a shade beg yourselves and we'll have dinner
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somewhere my treat.
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Well I don't know about the children. Kristin kak you're with the baby now he's
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asleep but we can't leave them.
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Maybe Marty would come over and stay with their neighbors just next door.
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The only thing is I've gone on and on and on so about you Jin about a
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special person you are and the children the older ones Chris and khaki they
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fixed a sort of surprise for you.
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A kind of special Well isn't that light. Can you imagine such a thing
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they must be wonderful youngsters when you call Maggie
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tell them I'm utterly and chanted and we'll have their surprise the very first thing
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tomorrow they're going to be disappointed. Not really do you think. Not if we make it
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up to them. When you stop they stop someplace rock and pick up some gifts for the
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children that always smooth things with mind I know and while they are phoning
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you could be telling me something they'd particularly like to have.
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More coffee day and yeah I mean maybe that'll do what I can't seem to get a ruling this morning
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poor thing we kept you up too late. But you get to talk to you gals reminiscing about old
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times.
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I know I know it drags on of course you could have torn yourself away and gone to bed.
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Not when the reminiscing got so informative informative. I didn't know for
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instance that Bill Cantrill used to be your property. Oh that yeah that.
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How did it happen Maggie mind that your best friend this wonderful creature whose praises you
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constantly sings snag your best bow unmarried jealous. Just
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curious. I don't always have the impression you and Jennifer were so close we were
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and in this particular form of piracy pass for proof of friendship. It wasn't like
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that you don't understand. I'm afraid I don't have any. You explain it to me.
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Jennifer couldn't help it. Men just went for hour after they'd seen you
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first. Goodness I wasn't any competition. Jennifer
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was oh everything just about perfect. Even her
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name Jennifer Denning. I used to love saying it. It just
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sort of sang itself. And then you tried out against Maggie Dirks who
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would've gone for Jennifer. I wouldn't tell you didn't have a chance. You never saw her till yesterday.
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The cracks still go as I think you're Jennifer Denning all things considered is a pretty cold
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fish. Give me Maggie savory time. You're just partial because you're used to
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me. I know what I know. And in my opinion Bill Cantrell showed mighty poor
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judgment. What's he like Anyway this unperceptive character.
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Oh he's nice. A big friendly sort of Jennifer's movie
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mad a lot. When I saw them in Joplin he was quite attractive.
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You sound wistful freckled face. You're not sorry you got away. Not one bit.
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I've got what I want. How about you Are you sorry. Listen is a kid
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sorry when somebody walks off and leaves on an electric train. It's not me. I'm
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not sorry I bet you one thing though. What's that. I bet you Bill Cantrell
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is.
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Jan Oh Jim it's Maggie.
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Breakfast on the house.
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Meg you should have here let me know just stay put
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there. How's that. But you'll spoil me.
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I thought it was the least I could do after your smashing success last night. That's the best
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speech we've ever had at an annual meeting. Did they like me. They ate it up. Service
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members and husbands. I've had seven phone calls already this morning. You
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were just what we needed Jennifer. You know some of the men around here they were kind
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of funny about our service League work. They didn't take it seriously. Some thought it was
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just proof just social stuff and some of the others thought we were putting in time we ought to be
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spending on our own family. Then what do they think now. What could they think.
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You make them sit up and take notice. Oh you're marvelous Jennifer. Oh
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are the way you got up there and made him see that what goes on in our communities
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vitally affects our homes and how women have a responsibility for community
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welfare how they owe it to their families to discharge that responsibility.
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Well you were dynamic when I got so excited I had goose bumps. How does it
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feel Jane. I just wonder sometimes how does it feel to be what you
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are to do what you're able to do.
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It doesn't feel any way at all Meg. You know you might have known you'd be model I
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mean it. Don't you ever get the feeling that everything's gone kind of
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stay empty.
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You're just tired Jim is not that I don't deny it for heaven's sake.
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You don't know what it does for me to know you can get tired. You know why don't you eat your
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breakfast and then spend the whole rest of the morning in bed. No no no not have got to
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be out most of the morning anyway. I got to pick up some medicine at the drugstore for Mrs. nettles and take her some
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clean sheets when I take her leggy This is ridiculous. Why is it you don't have one thing to
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do that can't.
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I don't mean me. I mean you live with all you've got to do. Let this woman
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impose on you like this woman Ms nettles.
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She's not imposing she's saying if she's sick in your entirely without help while she is
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sick seems to me you've done enough holding her job for all this time without
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running your legs all fetching our medicine changing our bed cooking our meals were
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fond of MS nettles. She's worked for us since Kathy was a baby. I want to take
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care of her take care of her by all means but with a check or a new service
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something. But don't dissipate your own energies. Don't get yourself
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personally involved. People like that. They'll eat you alive
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if you let them.
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This doesn't sound like you Jennifer. Why you do more good. You help more people
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than anybody I know out this way.
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It's messy emotional you get in too deep. Not if you care about the
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people. But do you can you I don't think so.
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I saw my mother wear herself out in grubby sticky
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demeaning little ministrations to a pack of ailing relatives. Her
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mother her brother her sister waiting on them hand and foot
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embroiled in every every page break heart murmur
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years at all the time I was growing up. We lived our days to the tune of their
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aches and their remedies and their peevish complaints and we were too
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close to them.
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She couldn't get out. Maybe she didn't want to Jennifer.
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She loves this place. Let's serve it. That was
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you know I want to talk about I want to get.
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AS.
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Well as got the kids by that young one of ours is a handful. I thought I heard
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sounds of beyond a doubt. How about some more coffee before I tackle the kitchen
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would be enough. I'm sorry about this evening Jennifer. So is Maggie but
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with Mrs nettle so much worse there wasn't anything she could do except stick around. I don't
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understand it. Yesterday the old girl was doing fine.
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She probably will be tomorrow. In the mean time Maggie's a very lucky girl to
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have you take it. How else would I take a very lucky girl
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anyway.
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Yeah well thanks
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for that you get a cup of coffee. Is that all I get. Sugar maybe or cream.
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Nothing from my coffee. I see that you might think
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I'm an attractive woman and I don't think Bill would like that. I don't think they'll let
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on. Well just on the off chance that you don't have to bother about what
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things. It takes care of one obstacle. What about Maggie.
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She said Mrs. nettles didn't you say so. Where do we go from here.
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Where ever you say one of Maggie's men was so palatable you think you'd
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like to I don't have the album. You don't
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wait a minute the double talk is getting too thick for me.
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What does that mean. Feels left me is what left
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deserted walked out. I don't see any tears and you won't. Not for
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bail but you might if you'd come closer. See a slow Burton
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and that's for the great Jerry walked out with creature just sitting there in a two
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bit nightclub blousy loud overpainted commoners dured
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He says she's human. Human.
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Well well where is that double talk.
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Yeah it means so control finally wised up after all.
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It means so. Jennifer's got to prove herself to herself by beckoning again
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but it won't work Jennifer.
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Not with me. Not for several reasons. Name one Maggie.
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Name another. You think you can handle that one. You know I think so.
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I don't know. But here's another. I'm not a hankering to bash my
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nose against that glass wall or double talk. I'm a
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cold hard fact. What class was the one you live behind
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your lady where you can see and be seen.
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But you can't touch or be touched. That's not true. Sure it's true. And it's going
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to stay true because you'd be afraid to come out here where Bill and his creature
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and Maggie and I and the other people live Jennifer. There are things out here that could mess you up
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tear you apart people things like love and hate and fear and
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anger and need and greed. You'd have to risk yourself Jennifer
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and that's taking quite a chance.
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We're mighty hard on perfection out here we write little dirty words like human nature all over it.
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You wouldn't like that. You couldn't take it. So you stay behind your glass
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wall. It's a little sterile I expect. But it's safe
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and we'll look through at you from time to time. Maggie Dirksen I.
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Was. Angry. No
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no no.
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No you know
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I know to discuss psychological death as we found it in the glass wall. Here are Dr.
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John R. research director of the World Federation for mental health for London England.
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And Dr. Robert L. Sutherland director of the Hogg foundation for Mental Hygiene
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the University of Texas glass walls
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fences protective barriers.
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Jackie we all have them. Ours is an abnormal and exceptional
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case.
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Oh I think this is an abnormal case. The story of a woman who
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certainly has become very unpleasant and I simply this is a.
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Not exactly with this distinguished lady but I think we all do have gospel of
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some kind sometimes it's shyness of course that people erect as a
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method of keeping away from other people and away from the
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real needs of humanity that's to say from the ability to love and to
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accept love and accepting love is sometimes more difficult than giving
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love and doing so.
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Yes and here is another glass wall I heard recently of a person who talks
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fast who talks incessantly who connects one sentence and paragraph
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with the word and then goes right on and says it all over again.
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Is this kind of incessant talking. Another type of glass wall you
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suppose.
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I think so certainly I think it's really the protection of ourselves against possible
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criticism we something we can best silence anyhow and they're always
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afraid that if they do speak they may be criticised they may say something
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foolish. But I don't think really that that's quite the case with
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this woman Jennifer. I think that to you one must have some sympathy also
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for her as well as disliking the characteristics she developed because I think she suffered a bit
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at the hands of her mother her mother was a bit too much preoccupied or too much
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anxious to earn a nice seat in heaven for herself by doing things or so it would sound at
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least from the play we've heard and I think that she got her
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dislike of this sort of thing partly from her mother.
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Well now you ask it we have a bit of sympathy for Jennifer if Jennifer is
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to be helped or if she is to change or if she's to respond to this
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tolerance you mention I suppose she will have to get a little insight about
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herself. Can she. Does a person ever get to know himself
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better.
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We weren't told Jennifer's age but I picture was in the 40s. I think she probably
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got some from this man Bill. He dealt with us likely
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roughly about prep setters which is necessary because you got a fairly hard shell to crack.
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I think the important thing really is that people should recognize these sort of tendencies
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much earlier on in life and they see children who don't get the right
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kind of love who are perhaps feeling neglected because
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their parents are doing a job or profession or do gooders of various kinds a
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little bit too much. And if you don't get love then you look for part of
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Mrs. where Jennifer clearly had been doing Hadji.
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You mean a parent or a teacher might see the beginning of this tension of either of them could see it
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quite easily I think.
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And it's a parent's responsibility primarily I suspect.
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And if they sought what might they do about it.
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I think that by giving more real love by showing people the
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children that love of other people is something that matters much more than just
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being in the limelight or being an important member of the household
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and that what matters is how much we care for people.
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Here's this girl doing all kinds of public jobs and it's an awful lesson to many of us.
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But she doesn't love people just like them. And this must be because
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she didn't get love and like you know the right kind I would suspect.
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Well now doesn't that kind of love lead to indulgence.
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I don't think so but all the sense of love is a sense of security and that people
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respect you and the people like you and people trust you and people thank you when you've got a job well of
[24:32 - 24:36]
your prey's and that can therefore safely give you some criticism and so on so that you
[24:36 - 24:41]
become an ordinary human being who thinks more about the real job to be
[24:41 - 24:45]
achieved than about your own standing your own status and reputation.
[24:45 - 24:50]
Here what's wrong here here's another person who has erected a glass wall or
[24:50 - 24:55]
some kind of a wall. He loves to have a chance to get furious at
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someone. What do you suppose might cause a person to love
[24:59 - 25:02]
that opportunity.
[25:02 - 25:06]
I think part of the sense that you can control people's destiny is you can manage people
[25:06 - 25:12]
provided it isn't any personal bother to you which you don't get involved like this book preacher Jennifer
[25:12 - 25:18]
felt she was avoiding everything real. But she always wanted the
[25:18 - 25:22]
sense of part of limelight. And we know these types Oh well the
[25:22 - 25:27]
bossy the bossy woman or the bossy man equally of course. You
[25:27 - 25:29]
see them so often.
[25:29 - 25:33]
Now Jennifer was trying to hold other people off. She did not want to get
[25:33 - 25:38]
emotionally involved. She could stand on a platform and deliver the most
[25:38 - 25:43]
eloquent mental health talks. But when a maid or a child
[25:43 - 25:48]
needed help she avoided it. Do you think that when people try to
[25:48 - 25:52]
avoid these emotional relationships they often become managerial
[25:52 - 25:56]
in an effort to keep things from happening to them.
[25:56 - 26:01]
Very often I mean sometimes it's necessary I think that a doctor or a social worker perhaps has
[26:01 - 26:05]
to keep a certain detachment from people. They couldn't get involved entirely in them but the ordinary
[26:05 - 26:10]
human being human man or woman does get involved and must get involved
[26:10 - 26:15]
in must be. It's what we what we are not what we say that matters. So this is
[26:15 - 26:20]
what's wrong with Jennifer she can talk good stuff on the platform and I'm sure probably very wise
[26:20 - 26:25]
stuff probably taken straight out of the book. Or an article. But when it came to
[26:25 - 26:30]
being somebody she fell down and the only thing she could try to be was a bossy important
[26:30 - 26:35]
person who got credit for all sorts of people I was told she was beautiful or something else pathetic.
[26:35 - 26:40]
Now here's another glass wall a man who loves to use jargon and use fancy
[26:40 - 26:45]
words technical language. Do you know other glass walls that we sometimes
[26:45 - 26:51]
erect to keep us away from people and away from dealing with them simply and directly.
[26:51 - 26:55]
Well just offhand I don't think I'm easily except the one I quoted just now I think the Chinas and
[26:55 - 27:00]
withdrawal from all contact is now the glass will quite obviously. But this use of
[27:00 - 27:04]
jargon elaborate language and so on gobbledygook I believe you go to your country
[27:04 - 27:08]
is a very obvious method of evading the real thing.
[27:08 - 27:11]
Now how do I know what my glass walls are.
[27:11 - 27:16]
How do I get out I will go to look at yourself occasionally with as much sense of humor as you can muster
[27:16 - 27:21]
bub. I don't have found the glass walls the way I think we
[27:21 - 27:25]
all of us have to be if we're to be he'll say we've got to be a bit self-critical at times and ask why we're
[27:25 - 27:30]
doing a job and whether we really love the people for whom we're working or whether we
[27:30 - 27:31]
love ourselves.
[27:31 - 27:36]
You think even an adult can learn about himself a bit short of course at any age.
[27:36 - 27:41]
Dennys easier when a child of any age. So you don't give up on us. I
[27:41 - 27:42]
do not.
[27:42 - 27:48]
The glass wall one of a series of explorations into effective living
[27:48 - 27:50]
titled the minds of men.
[27:50 - 27:54]
A presentation of radio television at the University of Texas taking part in the
[27:54 - 27:59]
discussion in today's broadcast where Dr. John R. Rees director of the World
[27:59 - 28:04]
Federation for Mental Health and Dr. Robert L. Sullivan
[28:04 - 28:09]
director of the Hogg foundation for Mental Hygiene the University of Texas. These
[28:09 - 28:14]
programs were prepared for broadcast under the supervision of Robert F. Thank you. Special
[28:14 - 28:18]
Music by Eleanor Paige cookie Smith was heard as Jennifer
[28:18 - 28:24]
as then. The series narrator. And speaking.
[28:24 - 28:29]
This program is distributed by the National Association educational
[28:29 - 28:47]
broadcasters.
[28:47 - 28:50]
And Radio Network.